I was inspired to write this post after receiving the signature tote from Hijabi Mama Treats. It shows an image of a Muslim woman holding a briefcase in one hand and a baby in the other. I stand by the message being portrayed by the designer.
“Mothers are strong , can raise children and work. We can do anything “.
On that note , its been over 2 years since I returned to work after a year long mat leave. You can read about my transition back to work here.
So 2 years later, how am I finding it…?
My mind is at rest somewhat, knowing that my baby is being taken care of by daddy whilst I’m at work , for this I’m grateful. I understand that for a lot of parents expensive childcare is the only option. Every Sunday night it feels like Little Nut squeezes me just that little bit tighter. On random Monday mornings he decides to wake up at 6.45am with me. (he usually wakes at 10am)
There are days I brush my teeth carrying him , get dressed whilst trying to rock him back to sleep , I guess sometimes daddy just won’t do. Those days I leave the house with no other option but to shut the door behind my crying baby.
Those days I long for work to finish before it even starts . I picture him crying all day because it’s the last memory I have of him. Suddenly I can only notice children outside on my commute to work , they’re on their way to school or maybe to their childminders .
“I leave the house with no other option but to shut the door behind my crying baby.”
Two years on it still feels like the first day I returned to work . I still feel awful on days when his unwell and I can’t nurse him better. I avoid calling him till after work to keep my focus, and of course I miss out on things like taking him to playgroups. I’ll be honest with you I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up for.
But yesterday something different happened . At 6.45 am he woke up crying , he watched me as i got ready for work . The time came for me to leave, I showed him my work ID and said mummy’s going to work . I walked him back to bed . And that was it. No tears .
“Going home to my son after work feels like receiving a reward”
Going home to my son after work feels like receiving a reward, we have mother and son Sunday’s and family days too. The time we do spend together is quality and that’s all that matters . Being a mum is a full time job ,so wether your a stay at home , work from home or working mum like me ,carry on doing what you need to. It will get better.
Disclaimer: I was not paid to write this post but I was sent a tote from Hijabi Mama Treats for review purposes. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Please click here for full disclosure statement.